I initially thought this was an attempt to make the class laugh or get a rise out of me. Then I realized he wasn’t joking. He genuinely believed it because that was what the internet had taught him.

As a sex educator and a mother of a young boy, I recognize that the internet makes parenting infinitely harder. Content that once festered in the darker corners of social media — where masculinity means dominating, controlling and overpowering women — is now mainstream, reaching young people at an age when they are still learning what relationships are supposed to look like. This is the content I hear repeated back to me by middle schoolers in my classroom, and it’s the same content that will start filling my son’s algorithm the moment he’s old enough to have one. 

Exposure to this type of content isn’t rare. of boys ages 11 to 17 regularly see these sorts of posts on their feeds, and many parents remain blissfully unaware of what their children are captivated by online.

As parents, our greatest goal is to raise happy, resilient, kind and empathetic adults. We sing songs about cleaning up together, teach our children not to hit and coach them through feelings too big for their small bodies. But those tiny hands will eventually grow to shape the world around them. 

Parents cannot wait until adolescence to talk about consent, and schools need to give young people comprehensive, age-appropriate sex education before the internet fills the vacuum. Whether children are 5 or 15 years old, they need to be taught consent, boundaries and respect. If we don’t, something else will.

Sex educators have long sounded the alarm about online content that glorifies violence against women. This “manosphere” sweeps up boys during their formative years, telling them that being kind and respectful of others will be their downfall. It reaches them during a period of insecurity, identity formation and an intense desire to fit in, offering a rigid model of masculinity rooted in power and control. It promises dominance, access to women’s bodies and success, if they just keep clicking and perhaps buy some supplements using the code in a creator’s bio. Social media algorithms can steer boys toward these influencers when they are simply looking for information about health and fitness, confidence or how to talk to girls.

Keeping young people from absorbing messages that conflate masculinity with domination and coercion requires more than parental controls or hopes that they will scroll past the worst of the internet. It takes comprehensive, age-appropriate sex education that begins long before they start dating, and parents who reinforce those lessons at home. 

Young children can learn the difference between safe and unsafe touches, that their bodies belong to them and that other people have a right to their own space. As children get older, those lessons should grow with them: how to communicate boundaries, recognize pressure, handle rejection and understand that another person’s body is never something they are entitled to. Consent is often reduced to the “yes” someone gives before sex, but it is much bigger than that: It is a foundation on which healthy relationships are built. Learning that should not depend on whether a child has a parent who knows how to start the conversation.

Schools should give students the tools to recognize coercion and to question messages about sex and masculinity they encounter online. Parents should continue those conversations at home, early and often, even if it’s awkward. Teach toddlers that they can say no to a hug. Talk to middle schoolers about what consent looks like. Ask teenagers what they are seeing online, and listen to the answer. 

Policymakers also have a role to play. Because sex education policy is largely decided state by state, young people’s access to accurate information depends heavily on where they live. In many states, lawmakers push abstinence-focused approaches, restricting what educators can teach and leaving students without basic information about healthy relationships and their own bodies.

Some states are moving even further in the wrong direction. So-called are gaining traction across the country, including in Ohio, where lawmakers have proposed requiring public school students to watch videos about fetal development beginning in elementary school. Medical experts and reproductive health advocates have criticized these videos for presenting misleading information by using up-close shots that misrepresent fetal development while downplaying the risks of pregnancy. Requiring ideologically driven material in classrooms that and reinforces harmful gender stereotypes does nothing to help young people understand consent, coercion, relationships they are already experiencing in person or content they are being fed online.

The federal government should be helping states close those gaps. Funding for sex education programs should prioritize medically accurate, evidence-based curricula that teach consent and healthy relationships. It should also support community-based organizations and trained educators who can give schools expertise and resources they often lack. Unfortunately, the government is instead investing millions of dollars in the , which promotes abstinence and the importance of marriage. Meanwhile show that abstinence-only approaches result in higher rates of teen pregnancy and births, even after adjusting for socioeconomic factors. 

Concerned educators, parents and citizens should tell their elected officials that they oppose these types of measures and want real sex education that emphasizes medical accuracy, consent, respect and healthy relationships. Elected officials should support programs that allow children to learn about these topics in a safe, supportive environment. A lack of comprehensive sexual education harms children and only leads them to search for answers in all the wrong places.

OKLAHOMA CITY — An Oklahoma House committee narrowly advanced a measure that would only allow a student to receive sexual education if their parents opt in.

, by Rep. Danny Williams, R-Seminole, also removes a requirement that students be taught about consent during sexual encounters.

Currently, state law requires parents to opt out if they don’t want their child to learn about sexual education in school, but Williams aims to flip that so parents instead have to give written permission for their child to receive it.

Get stories like this delivered straight to your inbox. Sign up for Â鶹ľ«Ć· Newsletter

“People should know what their (children) are being asked to be involved in,” he said.

Williams said when he attended school, sexual education wasn’t part of the curriculum.

His bill also requires schools to include lessons dealing with biological sex classifications.

It also allows people to ignore preferred pronouns, such as he or she, if the pronouns don’t correspond to a person’s biological sex.

He said he’s concerned that parents don’t pay attention to notes that come home from school and might miss the opportunity to opt out. He believes it should be up to a parent to decide whether a child should learn about sexuality in school.

“If it passes and becomes a law, a lot more parents will be completely engaged in their children’s education because it will challenge them to be part of the decision making process,” Williams said.

Rep. Nick Archer, R-Elk City, who voted against the measure, said he’s concerned that parents, who want their children to receive sexual education, might overlook the school notes that allow them to opt in.

He said Oklahoma ranks in the Top 10 in and for some , especially in rural areas.

Some parents believe trained sexual education teachers are better prepared to educate about preventing the spread of those diseases, Archer said.

He said he’s also concerned that the bill removes the requirement to teach students about consent.

Rep. Jay Steagall, R-Yukon, said requiring parents to opt in allows parents to provide “positive affirmation” that children should participate.

But Rep. Jared Deck, D-Norman, said he’s concerned that the change might violate federal laws that prohibit in education programs.

Students whose parents aren’t actively involved might miss out on sex education, Deck said.

“When we send kids home to abusive spaces, to parents who are irresponsible, what is the consequence for their actions or their lack of actions whenever they aren’t teaching,” he said, adding that he’s concerned a lack of comprehensive sex education could lead to negative family outcomes.

He also said the lawmakers are continually changing the state’s curriculum at a time when school districts need dependability. Local communities want the power to decide what’s being taught in their schools, Deck said. They don’t want lawmakers dictating that to them, he said.

The measure, which passed 4-3, heads to the full House.

is part of States Newsroom, a nonprofit news network supported by grants and a coalition of donors as a 501c(3) public charity. Oklahoma Voice maintains editorial independence. Contact Editor Janelle Stecklein for questions: info@oklahomavoice.com. Follow Oklahoma Voice on and .

“We think that schools are the best place to reach the most children to talk about personal body safety,” said Altschiller, a Stratham Democrat. “And that is their right. They have the right to be safe.” 

Get stories like this delivered straight to your inbox. Sign up for Â鶹ľ«Ć· Newsletter

This year, Altschiller and a group of Democratic lawmakers say it’s time for public school classrooms to take it on: sexual assault education and prevention. House Democrats are advancing a bill that would require consent to be taught in New Hampshire public schools as part of a school’s health education curriculum. 

“The precedent for preventing harm and promoting well-being through education is clearly established,” said Rep. Amanda Elizabeth Toll, the Keene Democrat spearheading the bill. 

would require that schools include “age-appropriate instruction on the meaning of consent, respect for personal boundaries, and sexual violence prevention” in the basic curriculum for all students. 

At a hearing Tuesday, supporters of the bill said that the instruction would be valuable to head off incidents of violence and violation of personal space — both in adolescence and later in life. 

“We see the importance of smoking prevention education because of the damaging health effects: it’s important enough to be part of health curriculums,” said Emily Murphy, a prevention program specialist at HAVEN New Hampshire, a violence prevention center. “The negative health impacts of child sexual abuse and other forms of sexual violence are staggering.”

Alberto Soto, currently the director of counseling at Middlebury College in Vermont, said he had treated young adults on both sides of the equation: those who have caused harm and those who have experienced it. The trauma caused by a violation of consent can follow students for years, Soto said.

“The only way that we can help prevent harm is through education and through preventative measures,” Soto said. 

For Renee Monteil, consent lessons were already built into her parenting approach for her two young daughters. When one toddler would bite another, Monteil would teach them not to, framing it around consent. But when it comes to sexual health, Montiel said, the lessons are some that all students should receive. 

“Teaching consent is teaching life skills,” Monteil, of Keene, told lawmakers. “Teaching consent is also about giving all of our children the tools they need to navigate society safely. With confidence.”

is part of States Newsroom, a network of news bureaus supported by grants and a coalition of donors as a 501c(3) public charity. New Hampshire Bulletin maintains editorial independence. Contact Editor Dana Wormald for questions: info@newhampshirebulletin.com. Follow New Hampshire Bulletin on and .